Heirs Together

The first part of 1 Peter 3 is all about the essential keys to creating unity and harmony in the marriage relationship. Wives are instructed to follow their husbands while keeping respect toward them. They are also told to use their influence in the relationship through a Christlike, gentle, and loving spirit rather than through nagging and adversarial words filled with accusation:

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror (1 Peter 3:1-6).

Husbands are instructed to be considerate and sensitive toward their wives. They are told to take the time to find out what ministers to their wives’ emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and give themselves to that end instead of being selfish and demanding their needs be met:

Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (I Peter 3:7).

The bottom line is a successful marriage requires each spouse focusing on meeting the needs of the other, not themselves.

The goal is becoming heirs together of the grace of life. If we fail to walk in this unity in our marriage relationship, we also fail to receive our full inheritance that God’s grace has provided us in this life. This passage also tells us our prayers will be hindered if we focus on our rights in the relationship instead of making love and unity our primary aim.

This is an amazing passage of Scripture! If my focus is on being right and on my rights in the marriage relationship, verse seven tells me instead of receiving my rights, my prayers will be hindered. That is not a consequence I like.

Verse eight reiterates we are to be of one mind, compassionate, and tenderhearted toward one another. The context here is still the marriage relationship:

Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing (I Peter 3:8-9).

We are called to inherit blessing (9). Yet if we are vindictive, adversarial, demanding, and just plain selfish toward our spouse, we will not receive the blessing God’s grace has provided for us to inherit. These are definitely sobering words and certainly motivating to me to lay down my life for my wife and give myself to walk in love and live in genuine unity and harmony in our relationship.

It’s time to spend quality time with the Lord and with one another. Focus on your spouse; walk in unity as heirs together, and you will inherit a blessing!